Saturday, January 18, 2014
Keeping Cool
Recently, I blew my
top! Everyone, including myself, was
taken aback by my behaviour. I was so angry that I wanted to smash the glass
bottle I was holding and walked out! I’m
now on a long break and supposedly, should be very relaxed, calm and happy. I guess so far, I’ve not been tested or being
pushed to such limit.
2. Two or more people (esp. persons whom you look after) or matters seeking my attention at the same time
3. Others’ (esp. person whom you look after) obstinate behaviour, constant nagging or reminders
4. Insufficient sleep/rest
2. Alter – attempt to change the situations. E.g. state limits in advance to avoid colleague’s non-stop chatter.
3. Adapt – change your standards or expectations.
(a) Adjust your standards. E.g. do you really need to vacuum twice a week?
(b) Stop negative thoughts immediately.
(c) Reframe/look at situation from a new and positive angle.
(d) Adopt a positive mantra. E.g. I can handle this!
(e) Look at the big picture. E.g. will this matter in a year? In 5 years?
4. Accept – accept things as they are.
(a) Share your feelings
(b) Forgive. It takes energy to be angry.
(c) Practise positive self-talk. E.g. Let’s try to make it work!
(d) Learn from mistakes.
My mother’s obstinacy
constantly irks me. My mother, among
other things, stubbornly works herself to exhaustion to ‘please’ her children
or to fulfil her ‘obligation’ in various rituals or worship. Instead of buying, she often braises 2-4 ducks
& chicken, wraps lots of zhongzi, makes numerous kueh and for CNY, even cracks
up to 4 kilograms of gingko nuts. As age
catches up with her, my siblings and I often advise her to simplify things. And
often, we get a good scolding or cold shoulder from her. After having stayed
out for more than 10 years, this is the 2nd time I stayed with my
parents for up to 2 months. This time, the
‘tension’ is higher with various CNY preparations.
A day or two after
my outburst, I watched a movie “After Shock 唐山大地震” – a moving story
about earthquake, human suffering, strength and courage one demonstrates in
face of extreme and devastating situations and most important of all, finding
forgiveness. It is also a timely reminder for me to “ask HOW not WHY” question. In
the movie, a son also faces an obstinate mother who refuses to move out of her
run-down house. Instead of asking WHY
(there may be reasons which only my mother or an obstinate person know in
his/her heart but may or may not articulate), let me ask HOW – how to handle my
mother, how to live with the situations best possible. My sister has a good advice - ‘when the food is being made, keep your mouth
shut and work on. It does not help to rationalise/question her behaviour at that
moment’ or ‘get out of the house’.
I'm sorry for my action. I know my mother was deeply hurt. I pray for strength and wisdom to keep my cool.
God, please grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
I'm sorry for my action. I know my mother was deeply hurt. I pray for strength and wisdom to keep my cool.
God, please grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
My list of Cool-breakers: Situations
which deplete my positive energy or give me negative energy and when I find it particularly
difficult to keep my cool:
1.
Others’
(esp. person whom you look after) constant moaning due to pain or discomfort2. Two or more people (esp. persons whom you look after) or matters seeking my attention at the same time
3. Others’ (esp. person whom you look after) obstinate behaviour, constant nagging or reminders
4. Insufficient sleep/rest
Keeping Your Cool (tips from Mayo Clinic) The four As to managing stress: Avoid, Alter, Adapt, Accept
1.
Avoid
– avoid the surroundings, persons, things that stress you. E.g. leave early to avoid the traffic jam, learn
to say no to request, remove the non-essential in your to-do list.2. Alter – attempt to change the situations. E.g. state limits in advance to avoid colleague’s non-stop chatter.
3. Adapt – change your standards or expectations.
(a) Adjust your standards. E.g. do you really need to vacuum twice a week?
(b) Stop negative thoughts immediately.
(c) Reframe/look at situation from a new and positive angle.
(d) Adopt a positive mantra. E.g. I can handle this!
(e) Look at the big picture. E.g. will this matter in a year? In 5 years?
4. Accept – accept things as they are.
(a) Share your feelings
(b) Forgive. It takes energy to be angry.
(c) Practise positive self-talk. E.g. Let’s try to make it work!
(d) Learn from mistakes.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Asian Civilisations Museum 16 January2014
Asian Civilisations Museum, located at Empress Place building, was built between 1864 and 1867 by Indian convicts. It used to be the government court house and government offices. It faces the Singapore River which used to be an important and thriving port in the 19th and 20th century.
In 1983, the last 300 twakow大䑩 (or lighters) on the Singapore
river were moved to Pasir Panjang and the clean river project began. Lighters or twakow 大䑩 are boats that transport goods
between the harbour and the river. The eyes painted on the bow of the twakow
denoted whom the twakow belonged to - if the color around the eyes was green,
it was Hokkien twakow; if it was red, it belonged to a Teochew.
In 1819, Stamford Raffles landed in
Singapore which he described as 'everything we could desire'. Stamford Raffles’ mission was to break the
Dutch monopoly of trade in South East Asia.
Between 1824 and 1826, a new balance of power between the British and
Dutch was established - the British was able to break the Dutch monopoly of the
important waterway along the straits of Malacca i.e. Melaka and Penang.
Chulia
Street, a street in nearby Raffles Place was probably named after the Tamils
from south India who were known popularly as chulia.
Nearby Empress Place, stood Fort Canning Hill, previously known as Bukit Larangan (the forbidden hill). Fort Canning Hill may have been the site of the palace of the ancient Malay king and a burial ground for royalty. On the hill was the supposed tomb of Iskandah Shah, the last king of Singapore.
Orang Laut was the indigenous people, original inhabitants of Singapore. However, with the vast and rapid development in Singapore especially at the Singapore River, the Orang Laut was eventually forced to disperse - to join similar communities in the Riau Islands Indonesia or be absorbed into the mainstream Malay population in Singapore.
Nearby Empress Place, stood Fort Canning Hill, previously known as Bukit Larangan (the forbidden hill). Fort Canning Hill may have been the site of the palace of the ancient Malay king and a burial ground for royalty. On the hill was the supposed tomb of Iskandah Shah, the last king of Singapore.
Orang Laut was the indigenous people, original inhabitants of Singapore. However, with the vast and rapid development in Singapore especially at the Singapore River, the Orang Laut was eventually forced to disperse - to join similar communities in the Riau Islands Indonesia or be absorbed into the mainstream Malay population in Singapore.
